When is the last time your emotions got the better of you at work?

I remember being in a meeting with a senior manager who consistently cut me off every time I began to speak. It would happen in every meeting we were in, and I increasingly dreaded attending meetings with him. In one particular meeting, after he cut me off again, I spent the rest of the meeting intently looking at the agenda, because if I made eye contact with the rest of the attendees, they would have seen the tears welling up in my eyes, and I didn’t want anyone to know how hurt I felt.

What women often want when I coach them

Very often, when I’m coaching or mentoring women in leadership positions, one of their objectives for our work together is to learn to manage their emotions at work. But when they say “manage,” what they really mean is “hide.” Their biggest fear is often that they’ll burst into tears, look “soft” to their bosses and colleagues, and undo all the hard work they’ve put into their leadership careers. And so they curb their feelings when perhaps what they should be doing is listening to them.